5 Maid of Honor Tips

After a successful bachelorette trip, it was time for the big day itself! As Maid of Honor, most of the heavy lifting gets done through the bridal shower and bachelorette parties – I was lucky enough to have the bride assign co-maids of honor titles: one to me (high school bestie) and one to her bestie from college. So we each took an event, and we absolutely crushed it. However, there’s still tons to do as Maid of Honor the day of the wedding – and even more you can do to help make the day extra special.

For anyone who may need some advice on how to be the best, most amazing, sickest, dopest maid of honor possible, here are 5 tips from my experience that I can pass on:

1. Work on your speech WELL in advance. Don’t leave this for last minute. The speech can be something you can easily knock out of the park with a little time and effort put in. My biggest advice for writing a great speech is to make sure it’s personal to the bride and groom but also something the whole room can enjoy. Keep it light and happy, don’t mention anything that might cause uncomfortability, and don’t make it too much about yourself. Here’s a quick outline that I would recommend following:

Introduce yourself and how you know the bride/groom
Mention how thankful you are to be there
Tell a cute story/make a lighthearted joke
Talk about what you love about the bride
Talk about them as a couple
Wish them well for the future.
Toast & Cheers!

If you use that basic format, add in all the personal details and flare, you’ll knock it out of the park.

2. Make sure bride gets to eat. That includes dessert! This isn’t just to have food in her stomach with all the champagne flowing, but also because she put a lot of time and effort into putting this menu together. Make sure she gets to enjoy it! Keep an eye out during dinner that she has a full plate and ensure she has time to clear as much as possible before the staff comes to take the plates away. Of course the newly married couple is going to cut the cake, but make sure she gets to enjoy a piece. In my case, there was an ice cream bar, but I made sure to ask the bride if she got some ice cream, which led to me blocking the way for her to get some. A simple, “the bride is taking a quick break to get dessert!” is something that most guests eager to talk to the bride can understand, so make sure you speak up for the bride who may be too nice to cut a conversation short!

3. If you can, make some curated playlists. I had a “getting ready” playlist with all the classic wedding-themed songs, mixed in with some of the bride’s favorites. Take requests from other bridesmaids and relatives, and be ready to change the vibe if people need to relax or be more hyped up. If possible, have a playlist ready for the car ride to the venue if it’s separate from where you are getting ready. Make sure it’s something that will get everyone in the mood and keep a big smile on the bride’s face. In my case, the music made me totally lose it and start crying on the way to the venue – which the bride found hilarious.

4. Get the flower girl included. She may not be able to cheers with champagne or reminisce about the bachelorette party, but she’s still a part of the bridal party and is likely very important to the bride. If she is getting ready or rehearsing with you all, try to get to know her. Try not to talk to her like she is a kid, but rather one of the girls. Take pictures and selfies and include her in the “getting ready talk”. And at the reception, pull her onto the dance floor. It’ll make for some really memorable moments to have her more involved.

5. Add some finishing-touches with signs and photobooth things. Let me be clear – this does not mean you should take on huge decorations and spend loads of money and impose on what the bride has put together at her venue. BUT I would recommending grabbing 3 small things if you are able that should cost you less than $5 each. The first is a backdrop or balloons for you and the other bridesmaids to take pictures in front of wherever you are getting ready. The one I got had some streamers hanging with heart shaped balloons and one that said “love”, and it cost about $4.99. The second is a “just married” sign for your after-party. Even if you end up in someone’s hotel suite, this is a cute little thing you can hang in the corner to make the room a little more special. We were at a bar, so I hung it near the entrace with no one’s permission asked. The sign was small and white and only cost $2.50. And the last – if you can – is a “just married” sign that you can sneak somewhere for the bride and groom to find after the reception. I was lucky enough to have access to their hotel suite, but even in their exit limo/car or lobby of where they are staying would still be a cute thing for them to find after the fun is done. I used balloons that spelled out “just married”, and I also included a little card with a note for them. The balloons were $3.00 and the card was probably $7 because it was Papyrus. This isn’t something you have to do, but can help to make the couple feel extra special.

BONUS Tip: Have a creative reception entrance. Talk to your walking partner ahead of time, try to come up with something unique, but plan something that fits you both. Funny props, a super short dance routine, or some sort of drinking stunt can make for a fun arrival to the reception. And don’t forget to have a great time, and break it down on the dance floor!

The pictures from this wedding were so wonderful, so I have to take a moment to splash a few more of them here:

To my beautiful friend who made the most lovely bride, thank you for including me in your special day, as well as so many other important moments of your life. I am so grateful to have been your Maid of Honor, so lucky to be your friend, and I love you oh so very much, forever.

More video footage, including my full speech, can be found here.

💍Thanks for reading!

Wedding Season

Basically half of my summer has been taken over by weddings and its festivities. Two bachelorette parties down, two weddings, and three more to go before 2019 hits.

As somebody who doesn’t really envision marriage in my future, this is an interesting time for me. I do love weddings, and I will gladly tear up a dance floor after they say “I do”. However, I just don’t really see myself as a wife. I’ve always felt this way, despite being told over and over again that I will change my mind. (Insert humongous eye roll here.) That being said, I did spend a lot of time thinking about the way I would want things at my wedding, even though I don’t even necessarily picture myself having one. I think a lot of these thoughts are ones that as women, we are programmed to have ideas about. Who would be our bridesmaids? What colors would we pick? What kind of dress would we want to wear? But a wedding does not make the marriage, it’s just the celebration.

And weddings are expensive. Even as a bridesmaid, I shelled out a decent amount of money for my friend’s big day (and bachelorette party of course). This can really add up.. between bridal showers, day-of expenses, and not to mention the additional gift of money that is expected inside a card as well. Unless the bride is someone that I am super close with, I’ll gladly skip out on a bridal shower to save some change.

I had two close friends get engaged this year, which of course led to their bachelorette parties. I was in one of these weddings, and the bridal party flew out to Vegas to celebrate the last fling before the ring. It was a small party, so traveling was in scope, and it was many of the girls’ first times to LV. We truly had a blast, but my bank account was really feeling that trip hard when I got home. The other bachelorette party I attended was in Ocean City Maryland, and I hardly knew anyone going into the weekend. This can definitely provide you with some awkward situations as you start to get to know everyone, but it’s best to just remember what you have in common – the bride. It’s also fun to buy into the “let loose” atmosphere and the penis shaped decorations.

It was very easy for me to feel a little lost throughout these processes. It’s not like I am against marriage in any way – my parents are celebrating 30 years of happy marriage this fall. I’ve seen my loved ones spend their entire lives with someone and never regret a single thing. I think marriage is a wonderful foundation for a family, and I don’t fault anyone for wanting this out of life. That being said, I often feel “different” for not wanting the same things as everyone else. Yes, I have some preferences for wedding choices in my head, but I don’t see myself walking down an isle someday. So in the midst of the “when it’s your turn…” and the “I’m next” comments, it’s safe to say I felt a little broken. Like maybe there is something wrong in my head for not wanting all this, too. I feel very reminded of those who may be disappointed by my decisions, and it’s often a lot to swallow. That being said, nothing stopped me or will stop me from having fun at the celebrations.

Weddings are basically just a big party about love, which is why I enjoy them. Everyone has the chance to get all dressed up for a special occasion. Pictures always turn out nice, and it’s usually a good chance to catch up with far away loved ones. It’s also a great atmosphere for all involved, with reminders of love everywhere. I definitely found it moving to see someone’s special day come together. The ones who matter most get highlighted during the ceremony and reception, and everyone else gets a chance to share in that love. It’s easy to get caught up in it all, because love can be truly intoxicating.


Like I said, three weddings to go!

Thanks for reading.