Ross Mathews answered my call again!

stwr darlingRoss Mathews and I are basically friends at this point, no big deal.

Since Ross and I are so super close (and I might even be his #1 fan), of course I follow both him and the podcast on all social media. And of course I get alerts when they post anything. I mean come on guys, you know what a fan girl I am!

So over the weekend, I got an alert from Twitter that @HelloRossPod (BUUUUTCH RIIIIICKKYYYYY!) had tweeted out a number with the message, “Call us!”.

Like ummmmm, ookay!!

Since I had called in before without even being asked, I didn’t hesitate to call again. I was actually on my way back from dinner with a friend, and I turned to her and said, “Hold on a sec, I have to call Ross real quick.”

It took a couple tries, I assumed because they were talking to other callers, but eventually I heard that wonderful voice, “Helllloooo hello! What’s your name and where are you calling from?”

“Hi Ross, this is Bisexual Gina!”

Everyone cheered, repeated my name, and Ross said, “Well, sometimes you win the lottery!” He asked me how I was, and then I thanked him for letting me record a segment and asked about who they were favoring for the upcoming season of Rupaul’s Drag Race. It wasn’t super long since they had to get to other callers, but it’s seriously so cool that it’s gotten to the point that Ross solidly knows who I am. Hopefully I get to spend some real time in person with him someday!

stwr pristinaFind Straight Talk With Ross wherever you listen to podcasts, and go to the episode released on January 27th. It’s Episode 263 – Pristina Darling. My call is answered around minute 28:30. Or for the direct link, you can CLICK HERE .

Thanks for reading!

Man Up! by Ross Mathews

Ross, honey. Baby. You know how much I love you. You know I’ve been a fan of yours for a long time, right? I totally read your book years ago. Years! I definitely didn’t just get your book for Christmas this year. No way, nooo. I definitely didn’t just finish your book for the first time. No, no, no I told you – years ago!! You see, I simply reread your book. Yeah, see? No big deal! We’re cool; we’re good. Just rereading one of my favorite books by one of my favorite people that I totally totally totally totally read for the first time years and years and years ago. Totally.

man up 3Man Up! Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence by Ross Mathews was perfect for a light read to make you happy. Most people remember Ross as “Ross the Intern” from the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and I absolutely loved hearing how this persona came to be. A lot of Ross’ career was built on creating opportunity and taking the chances that are presented to you. The lucky circumstances that land you in the right place at the right time is what brought Ross Mathews from the mid-west to our big screens. Hearing his voice on the podcast in my ears each week always makes me happy, and now I got some insight into who he is and where he comes from written in his own words.

I geek out over my favorite celebrities, Ross included, and can absolutely relate to that side of himself that he exposes in the book. Even when I called into his podcast, I freaked out like the fan girl that I truly am. I hope that my “contagious enthusiasm” can be paralleled in some way to the way that Ross describes his feelings towards his favorite celebs such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani Thiessen, and Michelle Kwan.

Ross never gives up and will voice his opinion for what he believes is right, which is one of the best things about him. When he was working in food service, he fought for both the men and women to be allowed to wear visors (despite being asked, “what you wear girl hat for?”). He also used his social media platform once he had a following to get butter nut squash put back on the Koo-Koo-Roo menu, and they even added his name to the dish. Lessons like these are really important to show people that no matter who or where you are, you can absolutely make a difference.

My favorite part of the whole book was when Ross talked about how he came out to his mom. He worked up the courage to disclose the big news, and his mom’s reaction was, “I could have sworn you told me that already.” Priceless. Absolutely priceless.

 

I feel like I can now qualify myself as a “super fan” of Ross’. At the end of the book, Ross even includes a pop quiz, and not to brag, but I scored 100%. Maybe now that I’ve finished his book, I can be considered Ross Mathews’ #1 fan! (Ross, like I said… I read it years ago. Totally.)

Thanks for reading!

Coming Out: An Update

Wow. You all really showed up for my last post, huh? I mean, I post links to this blog all the time and I’ve never gotten the buzz that I did last week. A whopping ten people felt compelled to click and read what I had to say about JVN, but over one hundred of you wanted to get the details once it got super personal. I guess everyone wants in on the spilled T.

Let me just say that my parents are very understanding and open-minded people, and I never for one second thought that this was going to be an issue in my family. Truthfully, I was very much under the impression that they probably already knew. I had been playing with the idea of “coming out”, not even knowing if I felt the need to. This never felt like some deep dark secret to me, so I didn’t feel like I had to make some grand announcement.

Well, apparently that’s what I did last week.

When I wrote that post, I wasn’t thinking about who would read it – I know what my stats usually looked like, and there’s not often a lot of traffic. If anything, I thought it would just be helpful for me to write this out and maybe to collect my thoughts and figure out what I wanted exactly. Looking back, I’m regretful that I made that post public before talking to my parents. I think I was just trying to figure things out for myself, and I didn’t think it all the way through. Sitting someone down and telling them about my sexuality didn’t seem like the right thing for me personally to do, but maybe it’s also about who is on the other end of that conversation as well. I certainly didn’t mean for all these conversations to be had without me there.

That being said, I’ve had wonderful conversations with my parents and I feel really good about where things are right now. There was a lot of open dialogue that I knew would be there whenever I was ready to have it. And of course, there was a lot of love that will always be there to make me wildly uncomfortable when directly pointed my way.

So to anyone reaching out to my family members asking if they “are okay”, yeah they’re fucking great, thanks for asking.

To anyone who has reached out to me directly, thank you so much and please know that I really appreciated your words. It was very validating to hear from other bisexuals, and having that support means a lot.

I’ll try not to get on my soapbox about this, but it’s annoying that I had to “come out”. It’s annoying that the default is set to ‘straight’. It’s annoying that I have to tell everyone if it’s different. And it’s annoying that once I do, it’s a hot topic of conversation. I know I’m not a very private person, and I don’t really have secrets of my own. But being bisexual somehow by default gave me this secret that I never even wanted to keep in the first place. I will admit that while I usually love having all of the attention on me, I think I would do things just a little bit differently if I was given a second chance.

This whole experience was truly more than I signed up for. Without meaning to, I made myself feel exposed, uncomfortable, and embarrassed. But now, I also feel relieved, supported, and content. I’m out! And I’m totally done paying my gay dues for now.

bi3

Thanks for reading.

Bisexuality

Hi, I’m Gina and I am bisexual – this may or may not be the first time you are hearing this, but it is most definitely not the first time I have said this.

I’ve known that I was attracted to both men and women from a very young age, even if I didn’t have the terminology for it. I spent most of my youth under the presumption that people are either gay or straight, and there weren’t really any other options. I always liked boys and never had any trouble feeling comfortable around them, so in my head that meant I must be straight. Sure, when I was alone I spent time finding Tumblr videos of girls kissing, but I was kissing boys in real life, so come on I must be straight, right????

If you get super super technical, the first person I ever kissed was a girl. I don’t really consider this my “first kiss”, because we were just little girls playing stupid games and it wasn’t anything meaningful – I may not have even been 10 years old yet. In middle school I started kissing boys and having boyfriends, and I was always a little ahead of my friends in terms of “experience”.

In high school, I had a female friend who I got super close with, got drunk for the first time with, and had my first lesbian experience with. The experience itself was very PG, but this was the first time where I was kissing a girl who was kissing me back and it was intentional – even if heavily influenced by alcohol. After my straight guy friends learned about this, there was a lot of encouragement whenever we were drinking for me to make out with the other girls. I happily obliged of course, but I continued to date guys exclusively. By the end of high school, I had probably kissed just as many girls as I had guys, but I only had experience past that with the guys, and I had never been romantically involved with a girl.

This didn’t change much as I entered college and I continued to be involved with men romantically, but fantasizing about women in my alone time. I was still under the impression that I was straight, I just figured I was more sexually open than most people. I believed myself to be more open in general than most, so I didn’t put too much extra thought into my sexuality as a whole.

Enter the world of Tinder. Tinder became a thing sometime while I was still in college and it was common on my campus. As I set up my profile to start swiping, I was faced with filling out some preferences:

Are you interested in:
○ Men
○ Women
○ Both

Both? OMG. BOTH?! IS THAT AN OPTION?! CAN I DO THAT?!

Both. BOTH!

That’s when things clicked for me. That’s when I stopped thinking that I had to be on one side or the other, either gay or straight, and maybe I could actually sit somewhere on the fence.

I clicked both, and started swiping on both men and women.

For a while, this was just an internal thought. I hadn’t fully identified with the word “bisexual” yet, even if I had rolled it around in my head a few times. Even though I was matching with and talking to girls on Tinder, I wasn’t meeting up with any of them in real life and was instead still spending my time involved with men. I even started dating someone towards the end of college, and I would think to myself, “I’ll explore girls more if/when we break up.” In my head, I had put my sexuality on hold (even though I was still swiping and talking with girls here and there when my boyfriend was being a dick).

By the time we broke up, I was sure that this was something I wanted to explore. I had had plenty of experiences with men, and I wanted to bring my female experiences up to par. I started hooking up with a girl that I had a crush on who was sort of in my friend group and identified as a lesbian. When our friends first got wind that we were a thing, they asked me if I was a lesbian also. This was the first time I said the words out loud: “Nope, I’m bi.”

* Insert fireworks and celebration sound effects here *

Since then, I’ve dated both men and women openly and happily. I spent over a year in a relationship with a man, and now that I am single again I would like to focus more on being with women. I believe my sexuality will always be fluid and I will always pride myself in having an open mind and an open heart.

That’s as much of a “coming out” story as I have so far. My friends have kind of organically learned about it over the past several years as I told them about my involvement with different people. I’m open about it with new people I meet and become involved with. My coworkers all know I am openly bisexual and I even indicated this in my voluntary demographics.

However, I never had that serious sit down with my parents (if you’re reading this – sorry, Mom and Dad!) where I look them in the eye and tell this deep dark secret that I’ve been hiding for years and wait to see if I still have their approval. It’s not like that for me – it wasn’t something I was ever “hiding”, it was something I was still figuring out. I also don’t need anyone’s approval about it, not that I think anyone would really have an issue. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about telling them in some way that was maybe more casual, but it’s been hard for me to conceptualize the right words. There’s a lot of stigma that comes with the word “bisexual” (watch the Hulu show, The Bisexual), and I think this could be potentially difficult to navigate with my parents. That being said, I want to be open and honest with my family. I would also feel bad if they were to learn about it from someone that wasn’t me, making them feel sad that I wasn’t the one to tell them. Maybe I’m dealing with having some feelings of guilt or something, that’s for my therapist to figure out. The point is that I have gotten to a place now where I would like them to know.

So, instead of coming out in some formal way, I’ve been passive aggressively reposting outwardly bisexual things to my Instagram story and allowing my family to view them. Not kidding – my parents both have Instagrams and see everything that I post and I’ve just been making it semi/extremely obvious:

 

b1b2b3b4

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I being too subtle?

So yeah, that’s my experience so far. To be honest, I feel pretty good about it overall. And I’m excited about what is to come in the future.

Thanks for reading!

5 Reasons why JVN is #Goals

Jonathan Van Ness is one of the most amazing people on this planet. That’s not an opinion, it is a fact, honey.

JVN came to full celebrity status as a part of the “Fab Five” on Netflix’s reboot of Queer Eye, where he is the groomer, hairstylist, and self-care advocate. His colorful commentary along with his wit and charm have quickly won over all the hearts of America, including mine. He also hosts a Game of Thrones recap web series titled Gay of Thrones, which was nominated for an Emmy, and hosts a podcast called Getting Curious.

He is amazing. He is incredible. He is fabulous. He is gorgeous. He is everything.

Here are the top 5 reasons why we should all follow, love, adore, cherish, admire, and aspire to be JVN:

jvn 51. His Style
I absolutely am obsessed with the boundaries that JVN pushes whenever he steps out to turn a look. His looks are often androgynous, pushing what could be considered “gender norms” by wearing skirts, dresses, and heels. When he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel wearing a sleek black romper and colorful, sparkly heels – I was living for it, honey! He is such a style icon and should be watched for head-turning looks in the future.

 

jvn 42. His Activism
JVN is an outspoken liberal who is extremely involved in activism and making the world a better place. He brings awareness to political issues and supports social issues such as trans rights, women’s rights, gun reform, and more. He was also the first male cheerleader at his high school and went on to cheer at the University of Arizona. JVN breaks ground, stands up for what he believes in, and makes change happen. Regardless of what you believe in, Jonathan is an amazing example of standing up for what you are passionate about.

 

jvn 23. His Podcast
I’ve written about Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness in my podcast favorite posts, but it’s one of the reasons I truly love him. First of all, because I can never get enough of the way he talks, honey. I could just listen to him say “cute” and “gorgeous” on repeat or as my alarm in the morning. JVN also has some really important guests that cover significant topics that dive deep into a variety of issues. From artificial intelligence, to peace in the Middle East, to climate change, to women in comedy, and everything in between! It’s extremely admirable that he takes the time to ensure we hear so many important messages from credible sources.

 

jvn 34. His Ice Skating
We should all learn a valuable lesson from JVN – it’s never too late to learn a new skill. Jonathan has always been obsessed with figure skating, or more specifically, Michelle Kwan, and decided in his adult life to take on the task of learning the art. He posts videos of this progress, showing both his falls and the landings. This is such an amazing message to teach anyone who is watching him. There is a struggle to learning something new; it takes time, patience and determination. JVN is working hard and I can’t wait til we see him land that gorgeous triple axle, honey. #JVNSkates

 

jvn 15. His Hair
Jonathan’s hair – including facial – is truly killer. He can rock a blow out like he is Beyoncé with his long luscious locks blowing beautifully across his shoulders. He is also no stranger to a gorgeous messy bun or top knot, paired with the right accessories of course. JVN’s mustache game is truly incredible as well and always on point. Gentlemen – take a note! Regardless of the length of your hair/beard/etc., know how to manage and take care of it.

 

For all things JVN, visit https://jonathanvanness.com/ or follow him on social media @jvn.

Thanks for reading!

Winter TV

netflixThere’s already so many shows that I am keeping up with right now, but I’ve always got room for more! Here’s a super quick list of what is coming out this month that I will be watching:

Monday, January 7th: 
America’s Got Talent: The Champions – NBC
The Bachelor – ABC

Tuesday, January 8:
Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club – MTV

Friday, January 18:
Grace and Frankie – NETFLIX

Monday, January 21:
Celebrity Big Brother – CBS

Sunday, January 27th:
Rent – FOXwinter tv

Thanks for reading!

Ross Mathews asked me to record a segment for the podcast!

So there I was, just having a normal day at work. Took some calls, worked on some things, listened to some podcasts – the usual. My phone beeped and buzzed to tell me that I received something new in my inbox on my Gmail account. I looked down and saw one word as the sender: Ross.

My eyebrows furrowed. I didn’t trust  my phone so I opened up my Gmail on my work computer and pulled up the most recent message in my inbox.

There it was. A message from Ross Mathews.STWR 01“Hello Gina! Ross here. I’m putting together the award show episode and I was wondering if you’d like to be involved…”

WHAT?!

Now as a super-fan of the podcast Straight Talk with Ross, I have written into the show multiple times. Not just to Ross, but also to Fagsy and Nikki as well. They all have emails tied to the show and Ross has advertised that he gets all the alerts for the emails straight to his phone. I had never heard from him before, but I had always felt confident that he would at least see some of my emails coming through.

Since I had just been nominated the previous week for the Best Listener of the Year Straight Talkie Award, I had just sent a couple messages via social media to the STWR podcast gang thanking them for the recognition. I guess this somehow made me top of mind!

Ross asked if I wanted to record a segment and said that he would send me the script. I replied to his email of course within minutes, not even trying to play it cool.

“ROSS!!! OH MY GOSH, OF COURSE!! Anything you need! …”

I was extremely excited when I received his next email. He explained that during the award show, there would be an “In Memorium” portion where they would pay tribute to the funny segments, jokes and other things lost this year. It included a list and a couple other instructions, and ended telling me to let him know if he had any questions.

I printed out the script and took a lunch break where I walked home to my apartment so that I could record in the comfort of my own home. I didn’t want to keep Ross Mathews waiting so I made sure that I got to work right away. I only took about three takes before I felt confident enough to send my recording to Ross. Along with the attachment, I also sent him a huge thank you again – I definitely sounded a little fan-girly, but I wanted him to know how much I appreciated everything.

The following episode was the Christmas special, so that wouldn’t be the one where I made my debut. I had to patiently wait another week for the award ceremony to be released.

STWR 02

Ross of course did some editing to my segment, which I expected, including adding music and sound effects behind my list of fallen podcast inside jokes. Another great surprise was that he teamed up my recording with Fagsy singing and giving sound bites behind me as well, which – as a big fan of his – made me super happy.

There were a ton of STWR characters that were included in cameos as the show was made, including recordings from Jackie Beat and other listeners like me. It felt so cool and validating to be a part of that family in any way shape or form.

Find Straight Talk With Ross wherever you listen to podcasts, and go to the episode released on December 27th. It’s Episode 260 – The 2018 Straight Talkies! The “In Memorium” segment with me and Fagsy Malone starts around minute 24:44. Or for the direct link, you can CLICK HERE .

Thanks for reading!