Therapy

I absolutely love therapy and have no problem in the least bit talking about the fact that I regularly attend. Therapy was a decision that I made for myself, because it’s not healthy for me to keep certain things bottled up. There were periods of my life where I felt stagnant or stuck, and I wanted help moving forward.

My first experience with therapy was in college. I had gone through some upsetting situations while I was in a sorority, and I was feeling extremely depressed. I reached out to the program at my university that connected you with a counselor on campus, and I attended weekly sessions for one semester. My therapist was an older gentleman who was extremely kind and open-minded. I had a great experience with him, but after one semester, he unfortunately had to move on to other students.

Last year, I decided therapy was something I wanted to do again. I was feeling extremely anxious for a variety of reasons and I recognized patterns in my behavior that resembled when I felt depressed before. I want to be someone that takes my mental health seriously, and knowing that I am someone who likes to talk, I knew therapy was something I had serious interest in.

So, to begin my search for a therapist, I went to PsychologyToday.com. It only took a few quick google searches to end up there, since they have a “find a therapist” tool. You can put in your location as well as other preferences such as gender, certifications, insurance, and other filters. Using this search, I came up with a list of 8 or so counselors that seemed decent enough based on their websites/descriptions/pictures. I sent them all emails, and based on who had availability and took my insurance, I set up some phone screenings to talk to them. I had heard that finding a therapist you like could take a while, so I thought this extra step might help. I talked to maybe 3 or 4 therapists on the phone and based on those conversations, found the woman I wanted to move forward with.

My experience with my therapist has been amazing, as she is very focused on what I want and how I would like to use my time. I am not someone who likes being tied to a set schedule, so at the end of each session is when I book the next one. I typically try to go every week, but depending on what is going on it may be more like every other. My therapist is also wonderful about allowing me to talk about what I would like, so the time truly feels like “mine”. In my first session, she let me know that I am the driver of all conversation and that we can use the time however I would like. When I was going through a break-up, that took up a lot of our discussion time because it was topical in my life at that moment. After a couple of weeks, I told her, “I think I’m done using my time to talk about him, I want to start talking about me.” And that was that, which was exactly what I needed. There’s always things she has for me to talk about if I don’t come in with something to discuss, but it’s nice to know that I am in control.

therapy 1There are a lot of benefits of going to therapy when you have the right therapist. It really is time that is focused completely on you, and it’s important to take that time for yourself. Your therapist, in theory, is a non-biased person in your life that you don’t have to see everyday, so it’s different than talking with your friends or family. You can be completely honest and know that everything in confidential. It’s healthy for me to speak about what is going on in my life and in my head, and I’ve had a really wonderful experience overall.

A lot of the people who know I go to therapy also currently or previously attend therapy sessions, and some have asked me how they could start the process. Basically, we all need a little help to get by and no one should be afraid to reach out. Take care of yourself!

Thanks for reading.

NYC Drag Con 2018

OH MY GAAAGG, HUNTYYYY! This was my first year attending RuPaul’s Drag Con, and I will never ever ever miss it again. I went to the NYC convention on September 29th and 30th. There is an LA DragCon every year as well in the spring, so as a result of the coasts there are different queens that are able to attend each one. Either way, I promise, you will not be disappointed.

drag con 1There was some shenanigans that happened on the Friday night of the event, but because of work, my friend and I were going to arrive into NYC too late to attend anything. So we made sure we got a fresh start Saturday morning to get there at the opening to watch the grand entrances of the queens.

First was the Crowned Queen arrivals! This included season 1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet, all-stars 3 winner Trixie Mattel, season 8 winner Bob the Drag Queen, and the reigning queen from season 10 Aquaria. Next was the other arrivals of queens, including Mayhem Miller, Viviacious, Acid Betty, Blair St. Clair, Ongina, Miss Vanjie, and more. Rachel and I had decent enough spots on the pink carpet to see everyone walk right by us! (Other queens were at the convention as well that just did not take part in making a grand entrance.)

drag con 2drag con 3

Rachel and I decided to look the part of DragCon so we both wore silly wigs and jumpsuits to the event. Ru provided us with many photo opportunities, not just with our favorite queens in their booths, but also in a large photo area! This area had many different back drops, themes, props and displays to take pictures with – and we took full advantage!

After having some fun in the photo booths, we made our way to one of our favorite queens: Detox. We had an amazing experience with Detox and her booth as a whole. First, the booth was right next to drag con 4Alyssa Edward’s, and we were lucky enough to be standing in line while she made her entrance to her booth!! That helped to make the line go super quick, so it didn’t feel like we waited long at all. We purchased photos for Detox to sign (there was a minimum, but Rachel and I were allowed to combine our purchases so it was only $10 each), and then were shown to where Detox was posing for pictures. Detox is soooo tall! Which is hilarious, because she was actually not wearing any shoes at all in the pictures. Her panel blocked it, and she was still taller than basically everyone. She talked to us for a second and we totally got starstruck and fumbled with our words. Then we got our autographs and photo and that was that. She was so kind and present and I loved her just as much after meeting her.

drag con 5When we got out of line with Detox, there was a short line for Blair St. Clair, so we jumped right in. Unfortunately, she was taking a break and took a long while to come back. The line really wasn’t long so we thought it would go quick once she was back, but she took A LOT of breaks. I could kind of see her while she was in her “backstage” section, and she was spending a lot of time looking in the mirror and fixing her hair while her fans waited. We were in line for about an hour with not even a lot of people in front of us. Her people definitely have her on a pedestal, because the treatment was totally different than when we met Detox. Blair just didn’t seem as down to earth, and her guy only took ONE picture. With Detox, I had like 15 to choose from, and with Blair we had ONE. I still like Blair, but I definitely like her a little less after meeting her.

drag con 12There are many panels that take place throughout the weekend, but it can be hard to get into some of them since seats are limited and there are some favorites in the house. We had several panels that we wanted to go to that got filled up, including Katya (insert heart shattering imagery here). We did, however, make it into a fashion discussion panel with Ongina, Bebe Zahara Benet, and Miss Fame. I absolutely adore Ongina and loved everything she said – she is a real treat. Bebe honestly didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation, but I find her beautiful and entertaining as hell. Miss Fame definitely felt the most qualified for this panel, flaunting her relationship with designers such as Marc Jacobs. Some of what she said was interesting but she totally talked for way too long and made it largely about her.

drag con 10

YOU KNOW I HAD TO SEE MY MANS ROSS MATHEWS!! I wasn’t able to make it into the Judge Judges panel, but you best believe I was front row for Bossy Rossy’s Runway Games. In between his silly games, Ross did some crowd work and I was able to get his attention and tell him that he has talked to me on the podcast before! Heremembered when I called in and it mademe wildly happy.

drag con 11

The second day, we were moving a little slow as a result of being out late the night before, but we had more queens to see! We didn’t do wigs the second day, as they had gotten a little itchy by the end of the day. Instead, we wore colorful outfits and took advantage of the shorter lines to do some shopping in the merch booths.

drag con 9Meeting Ongina literally might have been the highlight of my weekend. She was absolutely incredible, charismatic, and stunning. We really caught her at the end of the weekend, so the line was short and the merch was cheap – like, generously cheap! I told her that people in high school called me “gyna” and she called me her long lost cousin! She also spilled some T when I told her I saw her at the panel, throwing shade on Miss Fame for taking over. It was amazing. I felt like I was chit chatting with my friend for a minute, which is exactly the experience you want out of DragCon. Ongina is truly special, kind, adorable, one of the best queens ever ever ever, and I loved her so so so much more after meeting her.

drag con 13

To have a great end to an awesome weekend, we made it into the final live taping of Rupaul’s  podcast, What’s the T? with Michelle Visage. There was 3 different tapings throughout the weekend, but the one we attended was with guest Kathy Najimy, who is known for her appearances in Veep, Hocus Pocus, Sister Act, and more. It ended with a song, which felt like the right way to conclude the festivities.

For more pictures and videos from DragCon NYC 2018, you can go to my Instagram @ginafinio and watch the highlights story on my profile.

Thanks for reading!

Wedding Season

Basically half of my summer has been taken over by weddings and its festivities. Two bachelorette parties down, two weddings, and three more to go before 2019 hits.

As somebody who doesn’t really envision marriage in my future, this is an interesting time for me. I do love weddings, and I will gladly tear up a dance floor after they say “I do”. However, I just don’t really see myself as a wife. I’ve always felt this way, despite being told over and over again that I will change my mind. (Insert humongous eye roll here.) That being said, I did spend a lot of time thinking about the way I would want things at my wedding, even though I don’t even necessarily picture myself having one. I think a lot of these thoughts are ones that as women, we are programmed to have ideas about. Who would be our bridesmaids? What colors would we pick? What kind of dress would we want to wear? But a wedding does not make the marriage, it’s just the celebration.

And weddings are expensive. Even as a bridesmaid, I shelled out a decent amount of money for my friend’s big day (and bachelorette party of course). This can really add up.. between bridal showers, day-of expenses, and not to mention the additional gift of money that is expected inside a card as well. Unless the bride is someone that I am super close with, I’ll gladly skip out on a bridal shower to save some change.

I had two close friends get engaged this year, which of course led to their bachelorette parties. I was in one of these weddings, and the bridal party flew out to Vegas to celebrate the last fling before the ring. It was a small party, so traveling was in scope, and it was many of the girls’ first times to LV. We truly had a blast, but my bank account was really feeling that trip hard when I got home. The other bachelorette party I attended was in Ocean City Maryland, and I hardly knew anyone going into the weekend. This can definitely provide you with some awkward situations as you start to get to know everyone, but it’s best to just remember what you have in common – the bride. It’s also fun to buy into the “let loose” atmosphere and the penis shaped decorations.

It was very easy for me to feel a little lost throughout these processes. It’s not like I am against marriage in any way – my parents are celebrating 30 years of happy marriage this fall. I’ve seen my loved ones spend their entire lives with someone and never regret a single thing. I think marriage is a wonderful foundation for a family, and I don’t fault anyone for wanting this out of life. That being said, I often feel “different” for not wanting the same things as everyone else. Yes, I have some preferences for wedding choices in my head, but I don’t see myself walking down an isle someday. So in the midst of the “when it’s your turn…” and the “I’m next” comments, it’s safe to say I felt a little broken. Like maybe there is something wrong in my head for not wanting all this, too. I feel very reminded of those who may be disappointed by my decisions, and it’s often a lot to swallow. That being said, nothing stopped me or will stop me from having fun at the celebrations.

Weddings are basically just a big party about love, which is why I enjoy them. Everyone has the chance to get all dressed up for a special occasion. Pictures always turn out nice, and it’s usually a good chance to catch up with far away loved ones. It’s also a great atmosphere for all involved, with reminders of love everywhere. I definitely found it moving to see someone’s special day come together. The ones who matter most get highlighted during the ceremony and reception, and everyone else gets a chance to share in that love. It’s easy to get caught up in it all, because love can be truly intoxicating.

wedding

Like I said, three weddings to go!

Thanks for reading.

 

 

My Tattoos

As my most recent tattoo fully heals and I prepare myself for my next design, I decided to write out the current list of my tattoos. I got my first one when I was 18 and the most recent just a month ago, but I am far from done. I am always working to design new tattoos and figure out what to get next. So, here’s what I got so far:

Rest with Life: My dad agreed to take me (and pay for) my first tattoo on my 18th birthday as long as I got something that he was okay with. He didn’t want me to get a tattoo that I would regret or wouldn’t like later in life. I settled on a simple text tattoo to honor the passing of my Pop-Pop, since my first couple ideas were shot down by my dad. Truthfully, if I had been able to get what I had really wanted, I’d probably still love it. But instead, this is honestly my least favorite tattoo. It’s too simple, too boring, doesn’t represent me and doesn’t hold the true meaning that I wanted it to. I have plans to cover this and turn it into something else. When I was in college, I took a creative writing class where I wrote a poem about my family using tree imagery. Recently after, I did a drawing of a tree for my Grams, where I put her and my Pop-Pop’s name in the trunk, their children in the branches, and their grandchildren in the leaves. Since my tattoo was originally family-driven, and this particular image holds a lot of significance, I intend to work up a tree design to re-create that space on my upper right back into something that means more to me.

Dove: This one is a simple dove with the script written underneath it; “Let it go”, tattooed on my left side above my ribs. I got this tattoo when I was on senior week – but don’t worry, I was completely sober. I actually had designed the tattoo prior to the trip with intent to get it done one morning on the boardwalk. The tattoo itself for me symbolized letting go of anger and not letting things affect you negatively. At the time, I perceived a lot of anger around me and I did not want to live being suffocated by it. I think this held a lot of significance for me at the time that I got it done and I appreciate the message and reminder that I send to myself.

Cross: A lot of tattoos I have seen revolve around things like scripture and other religious aspects and I wanted to tie my faith into my tattoos somehow. I found a simple cross drawing which I made even simpler to represent my Christian faith. Even though I grew up Catholic, I identify as a Christian (non-denominationally). I believe in a God-type figure and I believe that a man named Jesus walked the Earth – but I also believe that religion is man-made. I believe that religion should be a form of love and belonging, in whatever form that takes, to promote just being a good person overall. So yeah, this is my religious tattoo, located the back of my right ankle.

Marilyn Signature: If you don’t already know that I love Marilyn Monroe more than life than we probably aren’t friends. If you don’t already know that I have Marilyn Monroe’s signature tattooed on my ass cheek, then we definitely aren’t friends. I got this in college for no reason other than my undying and unconditional love for Marilyn. I have full intention in getting more into why I love Marilyn Monroe in other posts, don’t worry.

Key: I have a skeleton key tattooed on the back of my neck, and my little sister has the lock tattooed on her ribs inside a heart. We planned this out for a long time with the date of Julia’s 18th birthday in mind. I actually sketched out the key and lock design myself, and we sent lots of pictures back and forth before landing on the final design. This tattoo might have been one that hurt the most, but it was also the shortest by a long-shot that I had to sit for. Pen to skin, only took about 3 minutes.

Moon: This tattoo also has a counter part – my best friend, Sarah. Just like the tattoo with my sister, Sarah and I sent lots of pictures back and forth and had tons of discussions before settling on what we truly wanted. One of my other best friends, Kelly (www.kellyoharadesign.com) helps me design any of my tattoos that I don’t design myself. I sent Kelly an image I had found with a long list of things I wanted changed and that’s how we got to the design that is tattooed on my left arm on the opposite side of my elbow. Sarah’s design is much simpler, just a circle with some rays to represent the Sun, tattooed in a small spot on her ankle.

Succulents: Kelly played a LARGE part in creating this tattoo – taking over 4 different pictures I sent her, making changes, and combining them into one design with 4 little images of plants for me. It honestly turned out so cute and perfect, and once I had the design it only took me about 2 days to get it tattooed on my right thigh. This tattoo holds a lot of meaning for me regarding being on my own, growing as an individual, and what I am able to influence and create. On the surface level, I’m also obsessed with cacti, succulents, and other plants.92C3D284-3582-4D09-B760-610E70E2CADASo, I have some work still to do. I need to start working on the re-creation I want for my first tattoo. I’m also working on a Libra constellation sort of tattoo, and for a long time I have wanted the word “Gravity” tattooed behind my ear against my hairline. Plus there’s always new ideas and designs flying around so like I said, more to come.

Thanks for reading!

Take a Chance

People are often too nervous to make a big change in their life, hung up on the idea of things happening when the timing is right.

Reality: the timing will never be right. Do it now.

I’m a big believer in the idea of “everything happens for a reason”. I believe in fate. I believe that things have a way of working themselves out the way that they are supposed to.

These ideas have allowed me to throw the idea of “timing” out the window, and just go for it.

When I first graduated college, I moved back home – which was not my intended plan. I had been looking forward to getting my own place. I was used to the freedoms of college, and going back home was an adjustment. I spent the summer looking for a job to start my career, searching for something where I could commute from home. I went to countless interviews and had many maybes… but nothing followed through. After 3 months, I was beginning to get discouraged. My friend told me of a job opening at her dad’s company, which was located close to my college – a little over an hour away from home. I got the job, and immediately started looking for apartments.

The first month was a rough transition, where I was living out of my car and trying to figure out where to live. I felt like an inconvenience, rotating between sleeping on my friend’s couch and staying with my boyfriend at the time. I knew we were going to break up any day, and I wanted a space to start fresh. Next thing I knew, I was signing a lease for my apartment in Allentown, saying goodbye to the boyfriend, and saying hello to a little puppy named Ducky.

When all the dust had settled, I realized that everything played out exactly the way it was supposed to.

Over the next six months, my job started taking over all my time. I had to be in the office by 6:30 to catch folks leaving on the 3rd shift, and I was expected to stay past 5 to greet the folks on 2nd shift. With the half hour commute, I would get home by 6, and be asleep half an hour later. There were many other frustrations at work, and I was beginning to dread going back every day. My whole life was work and sleep, and I absolutely hated it. When people at work stopped being nice to me and started to ignore me, I knew I had to get out of there. I started applying to other jobs, went on an interview, and was offered a new position.

Truthfully, I was scared to take it. I didn’t know what was the right thing to do, and I was nervous to pull the trigger. Yes, I hated my job, but I had put in a lot of effort with this company – I even moved to a new city. I thought about it, I talked about it with my friends and family, and I decided that taking the job was the right decision.

It was a Thursday morning, I was at my job, and I was getting ready to quit. I walked outside to make a call to accept the new job, but all the managers were in a meeting, so someone took a message for me. I went back inside into a meeting with my boss, only to find out that I was being let go. I was getting all my PTO paid out, I wouldn’t have to work the two weeks of notice like I had planned, and I’d never have to see my horrible boss ever again. Great, byeeeeee! I packed up my desk and left. As I got into my car, the new company called me back, and my offer was officially accepted.

Talk about timing.

The next year and a half was a blast. I had an active social life, I was killing it at work, and I was having a ton of fun. During that time I also met my boyfriend Ryan, which had its own way of showing me that things work out they way they should. Regardless, I truly loved my job, and I had goals of moving up in the company.

But, all good things must come to an end. The company was making arbitrary decisions, and was making promises to people and then not following through. I had an unstable coworker inappropriately scream at me, and the situation was not handled properly. To top it all off, the company could no longer afford to give me my bonus nor my increase that had been promised to me months and months ago. I really loved my boss, but I looked at her and said, “You’re joking, right?”

I knew this company was never going to give me what I deserved, even though I was a large asset to my department. I took a half day, and spent the afternoon applying to other jobs. Cut to a phone interview the next day, and a face to face interview the next week. Less than 24 hours later, I had a job offer that was going to pay me more than double what I was currently making. It was an awesome position, a great company, and an amazing opportunity.

I wasn’t afraid to take it.

There were reasons not to. I had a ton of friends at work, I had a chance at a promotion, and I had made a great name for myself. However, there were a lot of glaring reasons to say yes and go for it. And I knew that it was the right thing to do. I had worked hard and I put that energy out into the universe. So even if my company wasn’t going to reward me, the universe did.

After I had put in my two weeks, my friend at work asked me if I was scared to leave. I answered, “Nope.”

My new job is amazing, and the transition was an easy one. The job is much more geared towards what I studied in college, and I’ve gotten positive feedback so far about my work. And of course, the money helps.

taking changes

This narrative is about my career, but I am a big believer in all aspects of my life that fate will work everything out. I believe that the energy you put out into the world is the energy that you get back. Things might not always be great, and there will always be challenges. But if you are positive and keep moving forward, life will reward you with an opportunity.

And if a great opportunity lands at your feet, don’t be afraid to take it.

What are you waiting for? Take the chance.

Thanks for reading.

Women in the Workplace

shutterstock_183577280% of the people I have reported to in the workplace have been women. This includes every position I have had, from my high school jobs to my college internships to my career. Most of my bosses have been women.

I come from a hardworking family with two parents who worked full-time. My mom took her maternity leave to have my sister and I, and then got right back to her job, working as one of the 11% of civil engineers that are women.* And yet, she still managed to have a life AND be involved with the PTA. The women there would give her patronizing remarks when she was unable to make meetings in the middle of the day because of having a career.  “Oh… you have to work?” Really? Not to judge these women, but my mom is a project engineer managing teams across a multinational company with a masters degree from Penn State who also is able to balance being an active mom, so who are they to speak?

All that being said, it’s no surprise that I take pride in the fact that I have mainly reported to women. I have had the opportunity to work for some amazing, powerful women, (and one awful one) and I am very thankful.

My first job, however, I worked for a man. In high school, I worked at a pizza place called Bella Roma, which was/still is owned by a man named Ray. To put it frankly, he was a sexist pig. Only girls were allowed to work behind the counter and wait tables, and only boys were hired to be delivery drivers. He made inappropriate remarks about women who came into his shop. You could see it and hear it in the way he treated and talked to people. Luckily for me, he was only in the restaurant during one of my shifts each week so I didn’t have to deal with anything first hand, but the stories were passed around. He was a douche.

I worked there for a year and then I started my long line of working for women. My hometown job included working for my friends’ mom, and my college campus job had me reporting to one of the female graduate students. It wasn’t until I started my internships that I noticed the amount of women in the workforce around me.

Maybe it’s my industry. I was a Communications major with minors in PR and Professional Writing, and my experience has been in HR, PR and Marketing. I had four internships while I was in college, all of which I reported directly to women. Three of these internships were within small businesses, and, this next part is noteworthy, ALL THREE OF THOSE BUSINESSES WERE OWNED BY WOMEN. These women were boss ladies, bad bitches, and I wanted to be like them. They were rough around the edges, intimidating, hardworking, and determined with something to prove. I was given mentors at these internships as well, also women. I was inspired by the attitude they had and the image of themselves they they projected into the world. Say what you want, but women get shit done, and done well. Today, almost 40% of all businesses are owned and operated by women.*

My first job out of college, I worked for an awful woman named Heather, who was the HR Director for a small manufacturing firm. When I first started, I heard rumors that she wasn’t well liked, but she was so nice to me in the beginning that I figured they were just saying those things because she was a dominant female. As I got to know her more, I realized that she didn’t make a whole lot of sense most of the time. She wasn’t great at managing people. She was no where to be found for 90% of the time, and the other 10% she would micromanage so much that it was hard to do our jobs. One time, she told me that instead of teaching me the new way she wanted things done, she had been giving me a look periodically to see if I could figure out this own my own. Sorry I didn’t pick up on  your telepathic signals, Heather. I could continue on about the strange things she used to do, but my point here is that I didn’t see her as a good boss. She was off-putting and manic and hypocritical and backwards. She didn’t know how to handle people, but then again, neither did most of this organization. I worked there for less than a year before I was begging another company to take me.

After that, I did a complete 180 and started working for a wonderful individual named Cheryl. You can put Cheryl on the top of the boss lady list. Professionally, she helped build a branch from scratch and was running the HR department for her home office and several other offices in the region. Meanwhile, she was dealing with a mother battling cancer, a husband having multiple surgeries on his airwaves, and a daughter in and out of the ER with asthma issues. As if all that wasn’t enough, she also fought against the daily prejudice of having an interracial family (a beautiful one) and fought against stereotypes of women in leadership. I was continuously inspired by her strength and prosperity, and the fact that she was a baller breadwinner for her family. Over 40% of moms today are the sole or primary source of income in U.S. households.* Cheryl also was a phenomenal manager. She cared about us on both a personal and a professional level, cared about our growth, and cared about us overall being happy. The year she was my boss, she won HR Manager of the year across a national company, and soon after I left the company, she was promoted to Regional Manager. To put it simply, she dominates.

When I interviewed to leave that company, it was with a man named Glenn. Upon accepting the offer, I learned that Glenn is who I would be reporting to. Truly, my immediate thought was, Wow, this is the first time I’ll be reporting to a man since Ray. I wondered if the differences would be noticeable or noteworthy between working for a man versus a woman. I was unsure of how my experience had shaped me or catered to me in my career. I wouldn’t say I was nervous, but certainly curious.

However, it was obvious from my interview experience that working for Glenn was going to be a much better situation than the man I worked for when I was 17. True to my expectations, Glenn has been a great leader who is extremely knowledgeable and a great teacher. He’s also managing a team of over 40 individuals while juggling a daughter at home with health issues. I’ve clearly been fortunate to work for several admirable leaders. Lucky for Glenn, we are now adding leadership to our department, and his team of 40+ will be broken up into four teams with four separate leaders. As we make this switch, I will no longer be on Glenn’s team, but will now be reporting to a woman named Michelle.

What I’ve learned about great leaders and managers, is that they are also great people. They are professional and experienced, yet level-headed and caring. They are advisors, mentors and confidants. They multi-task, they prioritize, and they execute. They are the kind of people that you want to surround yourself with. And in my case, they have mostly been women. This should be celebrated! But we have a long way to go.

Almost 52% of professional-level jobs are owned by women*, and yet only 15% of executive officers are female.* Not to mention the prevailing wage-gap issue – despite the spotlight that has been put on it, women still make about 78 cents to the man’s dollar.* I won’t even get into the workplace harassment issues that the media has highlighted, but let’s just recognize the amount of mountains that women have to climb.

So I say, keep climbing! Inspire and empower the women around you. Celebrate their successes, and learn from them to create your own. Collaborate. Nominate. Share knowledge and information. Acknowledge accomplishments and milestones. Break boundaries and tear down stereotypes.

I want to thank the women who have inspired me. From my mom, to my previous bosses, to my mentors, to my friends – you all dominate everyday. As leading women in your industries, you are constantly knocking down walls and paving a greater way for the women who come after us. I hope to pass along the gifts that I have been given from you to other strong women with powerful potential.

Who run the world.*

Thanks for reading.

*11% of civil engineers are women, according to bls.gov.

 *30% of all businesses are owned and operated by women, 
over 40% of moms today are the sole or primary source of 
income in U.S. households, and the pay gap across all 
occupations is 77.5%,  according to resourcefulmanager.com

*Almost 52% of professional-level jobs are owned by women and 
15% of executive officers are female, according to americanprogess.com

*Who run the world? Girls. According to Beyoncé.

Wisdom Teeth Surgery

For a long time, I was convinced that I would never need this surgery because my wisdom teeth actually had grown in and fit in my mouth comfortably. A couple years later, my dentist told me that because of the lack of space around those teeth, my toothbrush was not cleaning them effectively enough to keep cavities away, and that this would continue over time. So, he recommended that I have them removed. Even after getting a consult with an oral surgeon, I instinctively pushed this off for several months. THEN, a piece of the tooth broke off (probably from the cavities – gross, I know…) and the remainder of the tooth was sharp and jabbing into my gums. So it’s no surprise that two weeks later I found myself in the surgeon’s chair.

Let me start off by saying that the surgery went well and was relatively easy – I didn’t even need stitches! That being said, going into the surgery, I was a nervous wreck. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of being put to sleep, I’ve never had surgery of any kind, and honestly I’ve had very minimal medical issues. Still, I probably should have been more chill about the whole thing.

I was already feeling uneasy this week leading up the the surgery, and I woke up playing a list of worst case scenarios over and over in my head. I was strangely sensitive all morning and my anxiety levels were high. (Quick shout out to my amazing boyfriend Ryan for doing what he could to put me at ease.❤)  Those levels were further increased by two sets of strangers in the waiting room making small talk about the details of their children’s procedures. Phrases such as, “root canal” and “synthetic stitching” had me praying that they would either leave or just shut the fuck up.

By the time I was in the surgeon’s chair, I was doing everything I could to not go into a full blown panic. I told the doctor I was nervous as she put three little monitors on me, one on each side of my collar bone and one on my left side. I wasn’t even hooked up to the IV yet, and I was getting more nervous by the second. She then put the blood pressure cuff around my arm and as I felt it getting tighter and tighter, I started to panic that it wouldn’t stop and it would just keep squeezing my arm until it injured me. Contrary to the mania in my head, the machine did stop tightening, but honestly it was extremely uncomfortable and was taking an awful long time to release. The doctor was looking at the machine and said that she was going to change the cuff. She manually released it and put the new one on, saying, “Don’t worry – this one is brand new!” Oh thank you so much, you’re just making me feel so much better about this whole thing! (No, actually she was really nice and the machine took my blood pressure correctly that time). After she took all my vitals, she left the room without taking the cuff off my arm like I expected her to. A minute or two went by and the cuff started to tighten again, putting me back into a small panic. My mind started racing. Wasn’t she supposed to take this off of me? Is this supposed to be taking my BP again? Should it be this tight? I complained to Ryan that it was hurting me and he kept reassuring me that everything was okay, but I was feeling more anxious by the second. My eyes started to well up, so I shifted my gaze upwards and tried to blink it away. In one hour, it’ll be done. In just one hour, it’ll be over. When the doctor came back in, I was given laughing gas and the instructions to breathe in my nose and out my mouth. The blood pressure cuff started to tighten again.

Me: Is that going to keep happening every two minutes?

Doctor: Every five minutes, but yes. You doing okay?

No, not really. 

Me: Yeah, it’s just a little tight.

Doctor: Okay, Ryan now do you want to go back into the waiting room now or do you want to wait until after we do the IV?

Ryan: I —

Me: He probably wants to stay.

Doctor: Ryan, do you want to come hold her hand?

Me: Yeah, he does.

Once I had Ryan’s hand in mine, I closed my eyes and the doctor took my arm. She wrapped something around me above my elbow to get a good vein for the IV, but that made me really internally freak the fuck out. I could feel my legs shaking and they had to remind me to keep breathing or else the laughing gas wouldn’t work. (Ryan has informed me post-surgery that I actually did, in fact, stop breathing for a second.) I forced myself to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth, but my exhales came out shaky.

It’s not even like the needle itself was painful, it was everything else that really freaked me out. The weird IV bag, the things hooked up to my collar bone, the blood pressure cuff. Everything made me nervous and anxious and scared. I couldn’t control my breathing or stop my body from shaking. It was scary to not be able to calm myself down, especially after Ryan had been told to make his way back to the waiting room. Luckily, that meant that the IV was in, and after a few minutes of panic that it wouldn’t have any affect on me, I guess I finally fell asleep.

Let me just remind you again that this was just a normal wisdom teeth surgery – and an easy one at that. I usually don’t have any problems going to a medical appointment, but then again, I’ve never had to be “hooked up” to anything. I pray that I don’t find myself with any serious complications in the future, because I don’t know if I could handle it. To anyone who has been put through surgeries, procedures, or any other scary medical experiences, please know that you are a stronger human than I am! Respect.

wisdom teeth snap

Anyway, waking up from surgery was fairly easy. It was much less dramatic than I was picturing, and there was no “David After Dentist” camera opp. (By the way – no, I am not high on pain pills as I am writing this or anything like that.) Truly, the worst part of the entire procedure was being so ridiculously in my head about it.

So yeah, that’s how my first surgery experience went. Thanks for reading.